Brainwash Yourself Into Living a Better Story

Be Suspicious of Simple Stories

In a 2012 TEDx talk, economist/blogger/podcaster Tyler Cowen warned us to be suspicious of simple stories. The gist:

Our brains are wired to create coherence of even the biggest mess.
Others exploit this by editing reality into simple narratives that serve their interests, not ours.
Swallowing these simple stories makes us dumber. “You’re basically lowering your IQ by ten points or more.”

Cowen suggests “epistemological hovering”. Float above the messiness to observe it as it is, not as some Rorschach rationalization.

But what about the most important story of all: your life story?

Clean Up Your Own “Mess”

“When asked to describe their lives, what is interesting is how few people said ‘mess’. It’s probably the best answer,” Cowen argues.

“[Y]ou’re really not on a journey here. You’re here for some messy reason or reasons, and maybe you don’t know what it is.”

Intellectually, I have no argument. But constantly trying to deny your brain’s storytelling urges sets the stage for stress. Maybe you can overcome those urges by meditating your life away in a cave. But that’s boring.

For a less spelunk-y, more spunky alternative where you don’t float around—epistemologically or otherwise—and instead feel fueled to live a fulfilling story, I argue for flipping the script:

Use your narrative wiring to your advantage. Brainwash yourself proactively.

Lucky Mr. Midwest

Evan, one of my ARC program beta testers, wasn’t convinced of this concept. He introduced me to Cowen’s talk, saying he sometimes wonders if he’d be happier as “just some guy in Chicago,” who:

Works at a “good enough” job.
Grabs beers with friends at the local bar.
Cheers for the Bulls, Bears, and Blackhawks.
Isn’t even interested in getting a passport.

What story might Mr. Midwest be telling himself?

“I’ve got a stable-and-not-too-strenuous job, a close-knit community, simple pleasures, and bad sports teams. Life’s not perfect, but I’d rather enjoy what I have than stress myself out optimizing.”

If he truly values conformity, tradition, and security, if he can full-on commit to that story, and if he has the extreme fortune to have no external influences derail his path, he’s got it made. Lucky him.

But that’s not the case for Evan. Not for me. Not for most people, including you, since there’s a fat chance such a “guy from Chicago” subscribes to The Zag.

Take Your Story from Your Subconsious

Almost no one I ask can articulate their life story. That means they aren’t directing it consciously. Instead, a subconscious story in their heads (or hearts, or stomach or wherever) is pushing the plot. And it’s probably a crappy one.

For instance, maybe deep down Mr. Midwest values self-direction and achievement more than conformity and security. His subconscious tries to salve the dissonance of not fulfilling those values with a self-justifying but uninspiring story:

“Life hasn’t worked out like it could have. Them’s the breaks. I’m just trying to be grateful for what I have and to set up my kids for success.”

You can’t escape your nature of turning your life into a narrative. So why not own it? While you’re at it, make it one you’ll enjoy, look forward to, and find deeply fulfilling.

How to Proactively Self-Brainwash

Your story has got to be evidence-based, but you can cherry-pick. Align those clues from your past with your wiring, passions, and values to craft a self-inspiring story.

This takes effort. The upside? Once you compile enough evidence to back up your narrative, you actually believe it. Then you intrinsically act accordingly.

Does the story have to be 100 percent true? No. It has to be based on some truths and align with your core values but can be optimistic or grandiose. This serves as your fuel and direction.

Then you need to steer through reality. This comes from “epistemologically hoving” above your story as you live it. But since I can hardly pronounce that, I prefer to look at it as putting your 95-year-old self on your shoulder, whispering wisdom in your ear.

This is where having a system of objectively reporting your life, analyzing, and iterating is crucial. When reality turns out to be different from your perception or expectations, you can make edits—but still make your story exciting and fulfilling.

“You can only fit so many stories into your mind at once, or in the course of a day, or even over the course of a lifetime,” says Cowen. Use that constraint to your advantage. Proactively brainwash yourself with a concise, coherent story that excites and fulfills you.

Thanks for reading.

Keep doing exciting things,

Chris

PS: My story?

Once upon a time, there was a competitive, confident kid. And every day, he played by the rules chasing conventional success. Until one day, his parents took him abroad and he saw how many “conventions” there were. Because of that, he started questioning convention—and then challenging it to increasingly large degrees. He “pretired” from corporate, tried to build anti-conventional businesses, and failed. Because of that, he realized he couldn’t challenge any convention he wanted. He had to start from the bottom-up, systematically leveraging his natural strengths. Because of that, he ultimately discovered his “innate edge”: creating systems that help people break through complacency, self-deception, and societal inertia to craft lives that are actually extraordinary. Now his mission is to help others leverage their innate edges to edit their default stories into something inspiring, exciting, and fulfilling—before the default stories write them.