A stand-up n****, now you sit down to aim
– Jay Z, A Week Ago
It’s Time For Change
Girls, I’m about to make your day.
Guys, you’re going to want to sit down for this (literally).
I’ve realized that for 30 years I’ve been making a mistake. But finally I’ve been enlightened and now, I invite all men out there to join me:
Gentlemen, it’s time for us to pee like women real men. It’s time to pee sitting down.
Missing the Point
“Aimers” out there who refuse to pee sitting down don’t know what they’re missing.
Actually, they probably do: the toilet. Show me an Aimer who says he never misses the toilet and I’ll show you a liar. It’s impossible. There are just too many variables. (Guys know what I’m talking about.)
Not only that, but even perfectly aimed streams are messy.
They create a fine mist of piss that missed. Though it can be invisible to the naked eye, the nose can’t miss the smell. And it accumulates, creating sticky floors and yellow porcelain. Nobody wants to deal with this, and we shouldn’t have to.
Keep It Down
Speaking of things we shouldn’t have to do, say goodbye to the endless Up vs. Down toilet seat debate. Let the seat stay down forever more.
Can’t we all admit that picking up and putting down toilet seats was kind of gross anyways?
Spraying Down the Counterarguments
Aimers might still argue, “Yeah, but it’s faster not to sit down.”
Maybe..
But if saving time when using the toilet is the argument, nobody better ever catch you hypocritically reading a magazine or checking their Instagram while dropping a deuce.
Standing up to pee may not even be faster anyway. Sitting down to pee minimizes zipper-related delays (and risks) and eliminates the hassle of fingering around for the ever elusive (and sometimes inexistent) underwear slit.
Think about it this way:
When you’re on the verge of pissing yourself what do you do? You sprint to the toilet, tear down your pants, and pee bare-bottomed like a little kid. It’s the fastest way.
So keep it simple. Drop trou, turn around and pee sitting down.
An Easy Flow
Sitting is pleasant. Instead of having to focus on aiming, we Sitters get the rare opportunity to relax and enjoy the relief of emptying our bladders. Who couldn’t use an extra little break from a busy day?
The advantages of sitting are even bigger in the middle of the night. While Aimers ruin their circadian rhythms by having to turn on the lights to take 2 a.m. tinkles, Sitters are able to pee sleepily in pitch darkness and return immediately to blissful sleep.
Exceptions
With all this said, if there is a urinal, a tree, a disgusting public toilet, or a high bridge or cliff, it is undoubtedly advantageous to pee standing up.
This ability to adapt to various circumstances is one of the greatest gifts given to those of us lucky enough to be born as males.
Be A Man: Pee Sitting Down
A real man is clean, courteous, considerate, and lazy. Sitting down to pee checks off every one of those criteria.
So if you’re a real man, give sitting down to pee a go. You may never want to stand up again.
And if you don’t want to take my word for it, maybe Larry David will convince you:
Another Stand-Up Idea?
One of the few non-offensive and constructive comments below, Sammy suggests peeing in the sink if you’re the right height.
My first instinct was, “Gross.” But is it really that much different from peeing in the shower?
How to Change a Slobby Stander’s Mind
PS: Women Aren’t Perfect Either
I’m pretty sure there’s no debate about whether women should pee sitting down or not. They have sprinklers, not hoses.
But I’m just as sure most women are wasteful wipers. They’ve been doing it wrong since they were two years old and their mommies taught them some questionable old wives tale technique.
So any men reading this who feel bullied into sitting down to pee by women should get them to read Kim’s post, How to Wipe After Peeing? Maybe It’s Time to Rethink Things.
Keep thinking and living on your own terms.
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136 responses to “Why All Men Should Pee Sitting Down (at Least at Home)”
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Bro if you can’t angle your stream at the side of the bowl and pee with no splashback or you wiggle your member like an out of control fire hose, sure go ahead and sit down. Men have been peeing standing up for millennia, you soy boy betas might have a little movement going but any man with healthy testosterone levels is going to tell you guys to take your pansy feminist urine theory and shove it.
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“Soy boy” is a good one. Thanks for introducing that to me Matt.
One thing I’m wondering is how you got to this page. What’re you doing googling “peeing sitting down”? I have a feeling you may be just a little curious. I bet you even sat down to pee once when nobody was around. Don’t be ashamed. Join us.
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Well screw sitting an pissing. My homies stand and shit!
This post was made from the Stand While Shitting gang!
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Ha. I thought they called you guys the brown socks boys.
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OMG. I’m on the floor in tears. I can’t key this. The upcoming reply about standing while shitting! Oh Jesus. First post from an offensive alpha jock sniffer. Then a serious LOL .
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This is a surprise. We Muslims have been instructed to sit down and pee , we’ve been following that instruction for the last 1400 years. Since we cannot pray with the same clothes after peeing while standing due to the fact there’s urine sprinkling all over the place no matter how careful you are. TAKBIR! Allahu Akbar!!!
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I didn’t know that, Abdul. Thanks for enlightening me to this. Google says there are 1.8 billion Muslims in the world, so us sitters are in a much smaller minority than I previously thought!
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Yes, we Muslim men pee while sitting to avoid getting urine on our clothes and to keep the bathroom clean. We also wipe dry our private part or wash with water before standing again. And on a different note, we also take off our shoes at the door when entering home. It’s all about cleanness. And we’re very comfortable about lifestyle. There is no shame in being clean! Thank you for introducing the topic!
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Shoes off inside! That’s another great one. With you 100%. Maybe part of the reason people wear shoes inside is because their bathroom floors are so nasty from peeing standing up.
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Yeah, sit down real men because a woman told you to. Be sure to change your pronouns before you pull your skirt up guys.
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A real Alpha MAN has graced us with his presence, knowledge, and sexual insecurity. He boasts of his penis and his urinary prowess. I gather the rest of us, endowed with “baby carrots”, shouldn’t consider ourselves male, but, instead, should take our fem asses and join the females of the tribe. Banished to piss sitting down. While Macho Matt and his ilk climb into their F350, 8 cylinder, 6.+ liter pick-up truck to chauffeur his 14″ flaccid penis around town to piss and shit standing up. His truck runs on American First testosterone!
I must say this text amused me a lot 🙂 I have to note that I don’t have any problems to take a pee standing. I hit the toilet easily every time, even when I’m drunk as hell 🙂 Also I have to add that peeing sitting down takes away lots of fun 🙂 Have you ever peed from the high bridge while going home after hours and hours of partying and drinking or have you ever peed from the high cliff to a sea or an ocean in the middle of the night? Guess not when you’re so easily giving up that:) I have a mission to pee to every ocean in the world from at least 20 m height 🙂 I know this is stupid but it also gives me lots of fun at these moments. There’s only one ocean missing at this moment and it is Atlantic 🙂
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Micha, you’re totally right. I have updated the post to specify high cliffs and bridges as exceptions. Basically, when we’re in nature and free to pee wherever, we should wee freely.
But not inside at home, sorry. Unless you are three feet tall and can barely get your hose over the toilet bowl (or have a three-foot long shlong), I don’t believe for a second you have 100% accuracy, though. Ask your mom or girlfriend or whoever’s had to clean your toilet for you.
Best of luck with your inspiring mission. I even once considered making a travel blog called “Places I’ve peed from,” so I’m right with you.
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Stand or sit…..
I piss like i choose to piss. One way or the other does not make you any more or any less of a man. Only the sexually insecure will think peeing while sitting makes you a girly-man. Hell, i’ve seen girls pee standing before that would put a man’s stream to shame.(peeled back,straight forward,long distance) Does that make her a “butch”? Is she not a “real woman” for doing so? Highly doubtful! So…. STFU with your BS Mark ! Mr manly man Mark Guilams must be very insecure in his manhood to think he should only piss while standing and never ever while sitting. I can do both while i am at my own home,and am very secure while doing so. Public urination is a whole different ball game. I Always stand and never sit on apublic toilet UNLESS its an emergency duce ! Even then i cover the seat. Be free ! Piss as you choose.-
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Amen! Piss as you choose. The negative comments on here are just from insecure conservative trolls who believe in feminist conspiracies to emasculate men. Well, I am not a socialist; more center left, yet I pee sitting down (only at home though). When you are in your 50s and have to fumble for the light switch at night (esp. when having to pee twice a night); then you learn it’s easier to sit down. Not to mention, my bathroom doesn’t smell like dried pee.
Peeing (just like everything the Patriarchy forces on women and men) is a social construct. Learn to question everything you’ve been taught and you will be a better man (or woman) for it.
(funny that they pursue this topic via some sort of Google search; so they MUST be curious about doing it but apprehensive and probably insecure in their masculinity)
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Thank Chris. (PS, great name.) I don’t understand your point on peeing being a social construct, but I appreciate what you wrote after on questioning what you’ve been taught (basically the theme of this whole website) and wondering how these “macho” men ended up here in the first place.
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this is great for all you guys who don’t have to clean the toilet, and who don’t seem to have any sense of smell. Every single time a man has peed standing up at my place, I can smell the urine.
The argument that men have been peeing standing up for millennials is invalid, period. You’re disgusting.
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No Sam. YOU are disgusting, a disgusting excuse of a woman who doesn’t respect a man’s right to choose to urinate naturally. It’s bad enough there is an assumption that we should cater to women and put the seat down when we’re finished. Check yourself.
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You might be smelling the bin full of female hygeine products, Sam.
Or the expired cosmetics all over the counter. Or the nasty in the drain. Or the stained, hole-ridden laundry in the hamper.
Lawd knows ladies leave clumps of all sorts of nasty in the shower. Never put the lid on the toothpaste beside Chris’ Gillette razor, drops of blood on the floor they missed, the excess perfume a few days a month to cover their stank, and bla bla bla. At least urine is sterile!
Glass houses.
Can we remove the “stigma” of masculinity the way that women tried to remove the stigma of free bleeds? And above all, can we check the hypocrisy of whatever wave of feminism this is?
And to Chris; travel blogger gets woke for traffic, doesn’t realise they’re blowing up on Dissenter. You attract the crowd you want to attract, man.
Health advice usually works better when you’re not shouting down to your audience. You divided your readers for no good reason.
Stick to travel, and consider making your site GDPR compliant. Users in the UK like myself could take issue.
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So… I take it you didn’t hate our travel posts as much? That’s a plus, I guess. Or maybe not.
Anyway, thanks for the GDPR tip.
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You’re such a ball less, cuck of a retard. Don’t got the balls to stand up? Too tired to stand up like a real man from all tat soy milkshake? Then pee sitting, like a bitch. Till then, normal, healthy, real men will piss like we always do. Fuck you and goodnight, sissy.
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Wow, if you say things like this about me just for peeing sitting down at home, I can’t imagine what you say about someone who does, you know, actually bad things.
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Do you have a manual that dictates the behaviors of “normal, healthy, real men”? I’ll check the “Fiction” sections of the bookstores for that one. It’d probably give me a laugh or two.
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My cock is so huge it’s closer to the water when I stand than when you #metoo pussyhat boys sit down. Mind your own business and let us men piss in peace.
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In my defense, my dick’s so far from the water because the toilet bowl at my house is particularly high. It’s kinda weird that you know these things Jim….
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Chris:
I’ve been sitting for years, but I’m getting older and things hang lower than they used to, especially in warm weather. There is a huge difference in space between seat and water surface, my chair height toilets are pretty good except in the summer. I have tried to find a guide to water distance without luck. Any suggestions? I hate having to “hover” .-
Hi Craig. I got a kick out of the thought of your balls being kind of like a reverse thermometer, getting lower the higher the temperature. Thanks for that.
You can adjust your toilet to have less water can’t you? Even putting a big rock or two in the cistern should limit the water per flush, and thus water remaining in the bowl (I think…).
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The water level of toilet in America and some other countries are high compared to others like here in new zealand which are low.
I used to pee while standing but because I’m not 100% good aimer I decided to sit. Save me from wiping and cleaning after.
I went to U.S. and was surprised about the level of the water in the toilet. My dangling was like a goose wanting to drink. I had to hold it when sitting to pee.The type of toilet seat might be the reason of different position choice.
Btw, I came across this blog when searching the effect on health from different peeing positions. -
Interesting observation! Vivid analogy, too, haha. I’ll never look at a goose drinking water the same way again!
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I guess if your genitalia is small enough to fit without touching the water this might work, but I’m not interested in dipping my junk in toilet water and spraying myself with nebulized piss to protect someone else’s delicate sensibilities, or on the whim of some pretentious twat
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Hmm, in your case then I agree. Either that or your toilet bowl has way too much water in it because it’s always full to the brim. You might want to try a plunger every now and again.
If you’re sitting down, how do you check the colour of your urine to make sure you’re not dehydrated? And don’t say check the bowl as my wife uses those blue coloured tablets in the cistern. I think a healthy choice would be a combination of sitting and standing throughout the day.
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That’s quite the conundrum you’ve got there Roy! On the day the cleaner comes to our apartment every week I have the same issue, but I can normally smell a dehydrated pee over the scent of that blue stuff. Can’t you?
In your case, it seems like your wife likes cleaning a lot, so maybe she won’t mind if you pee standing up will clean up immediately after anyway?
Sitting and peeing is beneficial to a man’s prostate as the bladder is being emptied completely when in the sitting position. Standing does not completely empty the bladder which keeps a constant pressure on the prostate. By sitting and peeing the prostate has a chance to have no pressure on it and will possibly help in keeping it a more normal size.
I learned this from my Anatomy & Physiology Prof in University. I raised my son as a sitter and my husband changed his ways as well. Recently, my husband (65) went for a physical exam and his doctor said he had the prostate of a young man.
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Thanks for the interesting tidbit, Lisa. From an evolutionary STANDpoint and from my own experience, claims that sitting down to pee does a better job at emptying the bladder doesn’t seem to make sense. But if it’s true, I’m glad it is!
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tried it for a while but there was always a last stream waiting for when I sat up and went on to the seat and the floor.
Got fed up of having to tidy up after myself so went back to standing.
bizarrely I don’t have the same problem after a pooh and wee. Anyone else the same ?-
Excellent observation, Ted! Yeah, I experience the same only after peeing sitting down, but not when that peeing is combined with a poo. Therein must lie the solution. I avoid mess by making sure to dangle atop the bowl as I stand up, so my butt’s still back behind my feet. That way, the remainder dribbles into the toilet and not the seat.
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Another self-indulgent lost millenial soy, whose wife gets satisfied by other men. What is with you people? You are completely lost, you aren’t happy and you’re kidding yourselves with this cheap lame whimsical sexualised nonsense.
Go and get a job doing something real so your wife can respect you.
More disgusting cultural Marxism. No good reason for this what so ever other than to get men to start acting like weak cucked bitches squatting to pee as a way to redistribute social power. I say we start pissing on the graves of known communists standing up of course.
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Yes, if for some reason I were to ever want to piss on someone’s grave (maybe it’d help the grass grow?), I too would pee on it standing up since it’s unlikely there’d be a toilet seat there.
How many urnals and public male bathrooms have the dividers rusting from splashback. I pee sitting down at home because it’s relaxing. Also maybe because I have a good flowing stream unlike some of these “only stand up betas” I don’t throughly enjoy the thought of piss water splashing out of the toliet and onto everything. Just because you don’t feel it or see it doesn’t mean it’s happening. These guys that say otherwise probably fart bare ass over their food before eating because, “Ain’t no shit on it because I don’t see it. While in the wilderness I usually climb up to the highest point and piss off it just because. Typing this comment out now as I sat down to take a piss. Glad to know there’s another real man out there. Stay hydrated brothers.
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Amen, JF. I enjoyed farting on food comment. Come to think of it, there may come a day where some fitness fanatic recommends farting on your food (or others?) it to get more positive bacteria in your diet.
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I was standing around with my group of coworkers waiting to clock out at the end of the day. All of sudden, somebody let one totally rip. Everybody was gagging. Then one guy says, loudly, “You know, farts are actually microscopic shit particles.” There was a huge “groan” by everyone, followed by the longest, loudest burst of laughter I’ve ever been a part of. While that guy’s statement about microscopic shit particles is technically not completely correct, and the subject is not in keeping with this thread, I just love telling that story, so there it is. I hope you enjoyed it.
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Awesome. Just want to remind you to be careful to not let the stall door hit your vagina on the way out.
My toilet is definitely cleaner than yours because I sit down but when I’m out I stand up. No brainer, it’s an issue of cleanliness and commonsense.
Im here to say i can count on 1 hand how many times ive missed the sweet spot behind the pool and those times arent even my fault really, thats either because A, I was drunk and tried my luck or B, the notorious double stream. I dont get a speck of piss anywhere but in the toilet i think, it takes no time to take a leak so its really just a hastle to sit down, so no point. Save myself for the number 2’s lol. I share apt with a dude thats also a gifted person and we really dont have to clean the toilet, under the ring. I care very much of mistakes so ive always batted an eye towards the toilet after a piss, always flawless. I even do 3-4 last “empties” sometimes, never missed those i think
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Impressive, Notevenaliar. Are you super short (or exceptionally short-legged or well-hung) by any chance? If not, and what you say is true, good for you. Personally, I’d still prefer to sit down to not have to focus on aiming.
And thanks for reminding me of the “notorious double stream,” which I haven’t had to worry about since sitting down. That definitely was worrisome nemesis back in the day.
i have a black and white stick figure photo laminated on the back of my toilet that has big scissors cutting your wee off if you don’t sit and dangle it in the bowl. which i could upload to show you. but yea!! i am a single gay woman with 2 brothers and lots of boys using my bathroom and everyone comments on it!
I started sitting to pee after being married to a woman who NEVER cleaned the bathroom. I learned on my own that standing causes spatter, whether or not you hit the hole. I went from having to clean the bathroom nearly every day to only having to do it once/week. If I didn’t do it, it wouldn’t get done. Yes, I was married to a slob of a woman. When we were dating, she often left rotting dishes in her sink. Not married anymore, BTW…
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Hey Keith. I have to say that while I get a kick out of the comments from the trolls on the post, yours is my favorite yet. Actually insightful but also amusingly colored with your comments about your ex. Your, “Not married anymore, BTW…” at the end when it was already abundantly clear was a cherry on the top. Thanks for the chuckle!
I started sitting to pee at home years ago. I wear sandals and no socks virtually all the time and noticed that no matter how “accurate” my aim in urinals, and given that a urinal provides far more shielding than a toilet does, I could always feel a very fine mist on my feet that was invisible to the eye. It is simply a case of practicality to a avoid spraying the toilet and its surrounds unnecessarily.
Even if you are the type that never cleans the bathroom yourself, who would be such a disrespecful arsehole to expect their significant other to clean up after them? Only an ignorant saddo Neanderthal redneck sans toilet training who actually believes his manhood is determined by whether he sits or stands to piss and thinks it clever that someone else cleans up after him. Total losers.
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Thanks Andy. I like how you specified you wear sandals with no socks virtually all the time. On a related note, I suspect people who wear socks and sandals are the same ones who insist on peeing standing up at home for manhood reasons.
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My husband just couldn’t get it through his head that he wasn’t as accurate as he thought he was when standing. My dad has prostate issues, so my mom bought him a UrineAide, which got him peeing straight and preserved his manhood. I got one for my husband – problem solved. He now pees directly into the toilet like a human being, lol. Anyway – it works, if anyone is interested urineaide.com
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Oh wow. Thanks for sharing this contraption, Katelyn. I’ll stick to sitting down, but I could see how this could appeal to some. And it’d make a good conversation-starter for guests, too!
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A urologist told me that when you pee sitting down your bladder doesn’t fully empty as it does for a woman and that it can cause complications including infection.
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Thanks Crom for a reasonable comment amongst all the madness above! Did the urologist say how likely complications may be? I like to think it’s not as big enough of a risk to outweigh the benefits but I stand to be corrected. (Or, will stand if I’m corrected, haha.)
Trying for all these losers to understand common cortesy behavior is a waste of time.
Assholes, get yourselves a black light and check your toilet and surroundings after, I DARE YOU.
You idiots really think you are some type of almighty being that urinates without splashing? Morons.
Who the fuck do you think you are to believe others have to sit on your fucking pee? Or worst if you have small children around touching and getting in contact with your nasty germs.
How would you feel going to a toilet and finding blood cloths floating around or blood drops on the toilet lid? Oh, sorry, is inevitable and bound to happen, and yet we make sure not to leave any evidence of it out of respect to others.
Seriously, some even saying “the natural way”??? Wtf?
This is why nature is making sure the male gender disappears. That’s the reason why many females are lesbians and many guys are trans.
No need for this type of homosapiens attitude anymore.
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Chris, You can see pee with a black light. I’ve used it to see if and where my puppies have peed on the carpet once it’s dry and no longer visible to the naked eye in normal light. Cheers.
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A “real” man’s masculinity is something that derives from his OWN principles. It’s not based on the approval of others. So stop telling people what a “real man” shoul be.
Anyways, I’m 32 years old. If pissing while sitting down were really a more convenient way to relieve myself I’m pretty sure I’d have already figured it out a long time ago on my own. There’d no need for anyone to convince me.
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Fair enough. Where does conscientiousness fit into your definition of being a real man? If you clean your own toilet and prefer to pee standing up, good on ya.
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Conscientiousness is a big thing for me. Hypersensitivity is not. Apparently we might disagree on definitions. My wife cleans our toilette. And yes, I pee standing up.
Life’s too short to be worried about droplets of piss that can only be detected by using a blacklight. That would be the epitome of a first world problem.
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Men should sit down when they piss if they can, mostly because it’s a lot more sanitary, no doubt.
You can’t see it, but piss splashes all over your body, hands, arms, clothes, shoes, and face in some cases. It’s a no brainer. The black light tells all, and I have witnesses this training people to get their food handlers license.
So if you sit down to piss, remember it’s a lot cleaner, and you don’t have the embarrassment you would have if you pissed all over the place by accident.
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Interesting food handlers license perspective on sitting down to pee. I hadn’t considered that. And pee on the face!! They must have a strong stream. Thanks for sharing, Steve.
I agree with the not standing to urinate, but the argument for not sitting but squatting to defecate seems a little silly. If you just sit down, lean forward, and rest your elbows on your knees, then your achieve basically the same anatomical position as squatting.
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I see what you’re saying Daniel and am the farthest thing from an expert so I could definitely be wrong. The whole squatting to poo thing could be a bunch of new-age, Goop-esque, mumbo jumbo. I’m compelled by books like Gut, the evolutionary rationale, and Squatty Potty’s video. If you have counter-evidence, please share so I can explore. Thanks for the comment!
Wow. Way to go implying that men stand to pee beause they have penises.
*Not * All * Men * !!!
Some men have always sat down to pee because they can’t afford a stand-to-pee device, and
Lots of women stand to pee because * some * women * have * a * penis * !
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Hi Elliott. Are you referring to people who identify as and but don’t have penises and who identify as female and have penises? Ok. More reason not all men should stand up to pee.
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Its a customery to pee sitting in India. Elderly folks do follow same till date. However coming generation have missed on same. It has many medical advantages too, one may realise this probably after there forties.
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Thanks Nikhil. Interesting points. Advanced age probably has negative effects on aim, so I bet quite a older people all over the world start sitting down to pee because of it. I’ve never heard of medical advantages though. Please elaborate if you can.
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I’ve never seen a woman with a penis and I spent many years working as a nurse as a side job. Even hermaphrodites aren’t strictly female but have a range of mixed characteristics. It’s also extremely rare. There are also men born with 2 penises. It doesn’t make them twice the man.
Women with penises! LoL, at least I got a great laugh out of that comment. Thank you!
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A woman with a penis?!? Maybe you missed the biology classes that dealt with anatomy, or maybe you’ve never had a girlfriend, but women don’t have penises man! A penis is a MALE organ, not a female organ!
I stumbled upon this article after going through a rabbit hole to prove my girlfriend wrong about something totally irrelevant (lol) – and holy sh*t, this comment section is crazy, I’m so sorry you received these overreactions. You probably laugh at them but I found them so disheartening, very different from the attitudes of the guys I surround myself with. I hope you and your partner are well and taking care of yourselves during this stressful time. Much love from Australia
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Thanks, TMIG. Yeah some of the comments are definitely from a part of the world I’m not familiar with either. I like to think they’re intentionally over the top and that nobody can take peeing that seriously.
Thanks for the comment, and hopefully you succeeded in proving your girlfriend wrong (may I suggest the anti-Sledgehammer technique for changing people’s minds next time?)
I believe that this process is kind of personal and neither you or people in the comments of this post have right to tell me how to do it. I prefer standing up personally , but there is no problem with sitting down if you like it . Nobody should care about how others pee and/or tell them how to do that , it’s just stupid and creepy
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Hi Felix. Thanks for the comment. I wasn’t actually telling you. I was telling other people. I knew you wouldn’t listen and didn’t care about having piss all over the place at your bathroom at home.
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Thanks for sharing Erin.
Interesting stuff there. I liked, “I have seen splatter marks nearly at eye level. No joke.” My only critique is the author buried the lede by saving the most important line for last, “Or men could all just sit down.”
My boyfriend pees sitting down and it’s honestly one of my favorite qualities that he has. Less cleaning the bathroom for me! If you thinking sitting down to pee somehow makes you less of a man, then I guess you won’t have to worry about keeping your bathroom clean for your girlfriend – because (I sincerely hope) you’ll never get a girlfriend. #toxicmasculinity (P.S. Even my boyfriend in high school peed sitting down. This isn’t new, and all men should do it!) Sending good vibes to Chris & Kim (P.P.S. I got here because I just realized how much TP I waste when wiping so I found Kim’s article… and then I had to read this one, plus the comments, out of curiosity.)
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Thanks Kelly – for the kind comment, for the anecdote from your experience with your boyfriends, and… for cutting your TP usage!
I have no problem saying that I sit to pee. I’ve been doing it proudly for 40 years. I grew up in the country where I could walk out the back door and pee off the back porch without a chance of being seen except, perhaps, by a U2 Spy plane. I spent 30 years between the military and firefighting and I’ve never been accused of not being manly. So yeah, I sit to pee just as my father told me to do. He was right. It’s so much cleaner than standing. Also, I share the cleaning duties with my wife and I hate cleaning urine off the floor or anywhere else it might land. I’ve also taught my 2 sons to do the same thing. I’ve talked with my friends who have boys and they always complain about how bad the bathroom is. If I’m in public, it’s the urinal for us. At home, we sit because we like a clean home that takes less time to clean. My wife grew up with brothers and appreciates men who prefer to sit. Change that one little thing and you might be surprised how much your wife will appreciate it, especially if she’s the primary cleaner.
I’ve been sitting to whiz at home for 40 years, which happened to also be the beginning of the same time that I was the only person using AND cleaning the toilet. I’d always considered my aim to be impeccable, but when it came time to do the cleaning, I’d find that there was always a film of piss on and around the toilet. It didn’t take me long to realize that no matter how you aim, there is a significant amount of splashing going on. So, I did the nasty job of cleaning up the piss one last time and have been sitting to pee ever since. If I’m a guest at someone’s house who has a clean bathroom, I sit in those situations, as well, as a courtesy to my hosts. If I’m in a nasty bathroom, I’m standing. Outdoors, standing. My guess is that the naysayers have either never cleaned a toilet, or they have “issues” that they ought to deal with. Sitting is the logical choice. Why make more work for myself if I don’t have to?
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Congrats, Bob. Your comment’s probably the most logical, sane, and well-explained one here. Better than my post probably, too. You’re invited to pee at my place anytime.
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Soy boys? Hardly..In public I’ll use a urinal but at home when it takes 5 mins to squeeze out a drop sitting sometimes is the best option. Ever heard your Dad complain about prostate issues? Well..That…It’s called getting old. It happens to the best of us.
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I totally agree with you. As I see above a lot of those folks really have problems with woman. I wish they will someday find the man they needed….
For all you guys that think you know it all, and that sitting down when urinating somehow makes you less of a man, read this short article from Men’s Health Magazine, maybe it’ll change your mind.
So, in an average bathroom, unless for some disgusting reason you like having your piss all over your floors, towels, shower doors or curtains, and everything on top of your bathroom counter including your toothbrush, that I’m betting you don’t disinfect several times a day, you’re all saying you stand up because you’re immature, from what it sounds like? Well, I hope you wear flip flops or slippers while you’re in your house, because your bathroom floors are sticky as hell with your urine and all the dust, dirt, hair and skin cells, etc. that sticks to it! Then you track it all over your house and onto your bed and sofas, how pleasant is that! So, go ahead and be immature, 50% and a ever increasing number of real men are sitting down while they urinate. They do it for their prostrates, they do it for cleanliness, and they do it to be a better partner in their marriage or relationship.
P.S. You also might want to think real hard before you hit the next men’s public restroom urinal, because when you do, you’ll be walking out with the urine of guy next to you, or on both sides of you, on your leg(s) & on your shoe(s)/foot(feet)! Or you could use a stall and sit down ?
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Thanks, Lisa. Where’d you get the 50% stat from? I’m interested to learn how and where they got that and to see the trend over the years.
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This is bogus. Men are not polled to see if they sit or stand to pee, and if this were true than there would be as many toilets in men’s rooms as urinals. Just because you are seeking a confirmation bias does not magically generate numbers you can cite as proof that 50% of men sit to pee. That is a complete fabrication, and you cannot produce any empirical data that confirms what you have said.
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I suspect the 50% statistic, regardless of how dubious its provenance, would be for toilets at home, not in public.
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men should not sit on a toilet for anything at all. squat when you poo, stand when you pee. toilets are disgusting and a person sitting on your pee is nothing compared to your Dick touching inside the bowl. YUCK.
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Hmm. On toilets being disgusting, this good podcast episode reports studies that find otherwise.
Males are genetically programmed to stand while peeing. If you never teach a boy or a girl how to pee, the girl will squat to pee, and the boy will pee standing up. Unless you are not within the normal range of body types, meaning not morbidly obese, or you are not physically within the movement/mobility range of most males worldwide, then you may choose to sit to pee. Keep in mind, the sitting toilet makes it seem that siting to pee makes sense, when if there was no toilet, I doubt many men would choose to squat like a female to pee.
Usually I piss in my bathroom sink, it’s an old ceramic one that’s just at the perfect height. But thanks for your tip, next time I’ll try to piss sitting on my sink instead.
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I pee into the top of the toilet but this sink method you mentioned seems like it could be effective, I think I’ll give it a shot.
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Whoa. Both of these ideas are super intriguing. Especially the sink pissing one. If people are ok with pissing in the shower, why not piss in the sink if it’s the perfect height?
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Sure. I went camping over the holidays an crapped standing up (squatting) the whole time. Your turn to pee sitting down!
It’s hilarious how some men feel like sissies if they sit to pee. Plus who is watching you pee that makes you feel like that? Every man should do a home pee test. Place white paper towels around your toilet and the things next to it. Pee standing and after a couple of days go examine the mess you have made. Between my husband and 2 boys, it is gross to say the least. I am very happy to have 2 bathrooms in the home. I am trying to convince all of them to sit at home even if it is more convenient to stand. Who ever told men it wad girly to sit, has probably never had to clean a bathroom.
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“A home pee test”! Haha. I like it. But I guess it still didn’t convince the boys in your house though, eh? Good luck with it, Tina.
No one has died or will die from this “new” info
Maybe we can do an article on feminine menstrual products & their effect on global warming next
“But if saving time when using the toilet is the argument, nobody better ever catch you hypocritically reading a magazine or checking their Instagram while dropping a deuce.”
Making an all or nothing statement removes all credence from an argument. Sometimes you can take your time with things, sometimes you’re busy. Sometimes you feel like it, sometimes you don’t. You can’t say that if you do one you can’t do the other. Or at least not say it and still have your argument taken seriously.
I don’t disagree that sitting down is a overall cleaner process for your bathroom, but I also say clean your bathroom regularly. You literally have a chair in your house that you defecate in. Avoiding a “mist” of anything in your bathroom is impossible. There are imperceptible bits of fecal matter on almost every surface of your bathroom if you’ve gone more than a day or two without cleaning it. It goes airborne, and so do many particles of urine, sitting down or not.
Sit down if you like, personally I go with either way just depending on how I’m feeling. The arguing that sitting down all peeing is going to solve indianola issues of cleanliness in your bathroom, and therefore you must do it eternally is incredibly black and white thinking and short on facts.
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So you’re implying my argument has no credence because I made some all-or-nothing statements? That sounds like an all-or-nothing argument, too. But I don’t mean to disagree with or dare to discredit anything you say. You sound smart.
I stumbled across this article because I had just read some health expert say that sitting down would solve most problems with men and peeing but that he doesn’t see it as a solution for reasons he either didn’t say, or that I immediately forgot. This lead me to research men and peeing because I’ve tried sitting down and it has gone poorly for me and I wanted more opinions on the subject and I ended up here.
I’ve obviously had my fair share of aiming mishaps standing up, stream going sideways when I expected it to go straight and so on but my worst experiences peeing were sitting down. Granted I’ve likely done more overall damage and committed more crimes against cleanliness standing up to pee but when sitting down has gone wrong, it has been personally very bad.
I’ve had the pee escape through the gap under the seat and soak my bunched up underpants/shorts on the tile below and not realised this was happening until after. Even once pulling up wet and sticky pants that you have to wear until you can get back to your room and change them is enough to gross you out and not make you want to sit down to pee again, especially when the worst that usually happens standing up, for me at least, is having to do a quick wipe and clean of the affected area and I’m always at least trying to clean up after myself as best as I can.
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Good point, Mr. S. There is indeed a risk of peeing through the crack. I’ve done so myself, though never got anything onto my pants. For some reason, it only happens to me at Kim’s parents’ place, so when I pee there, I use my hand to make sure I’m pointing straight down.
I usually sit down to pee, and use a strip of toilet paper to clean myself up, so drops of the golden stuff will not land in my underpants later. Having that level of cleanliness means I could go commando anywhere, anytime. Plus, every single time I go pee, I do an almost full squat to sit down and get back up again. You should see my damn quads – they thrive on this kind of potty training. Honestly fellas, it doesn’t get much more manly than that. Having my hands free means I could even eat a steak while pissing. If I wanted to.
To all the fervent Urinatus erectus out there: evolution will eliminate you due to your inferior leg strength. Mark my words. You have maybe, two- three-thousand years left, tops.
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An almost full squat? Do you have a tiny toilet?
And on going commando, what about #2?
Other than those questions, your points are strong. Extremely strong.
This reads like a bloke tryna impress feminazis and thats coming from a guy that pees sitting down mostly. You had me on the edge until this “A real man is clean, courteous, considerate, and lazy. Sitting down to pee checks off every one of those criteria.
So if you’re a real man, give sitting down to pee a go. You may never want to stand up again.”
No, stop all the nonsense about what makes a real man. Thats just more toxic sexism.
I usually sit down when I pee because I have an unhealthy addiction to my phone. But you just sound like someone that (somehow) never learned how to use their penis. Or you haven’t used it in so long you don’t recall how it works. Good job on the views/clickbait though.
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Thanks. You’d be surprised at all the uses I’ve found for my penis. I’m pretty good with it, too.
I don’t have any silly alpha/beta feelings about this, but given the standard geometry of toilet bowls in the US, how am I supposed to keep my dick from just resting on the front of the toilet bowl? I tried it once and the spray was like putting your hand over the end of a hose. It even went up and under the seat onto my pants. What’s the strategy to avoid this? We need better toilets, i even have to pee before taking a crap. How do you all deal with this?
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Also, i grew up with three sisters, so I don’t understand why it’s seen as so onerous to just lift the seat, pee, put the seat back down and then wash my hands. I’ve never had a woman in my life “fall in”
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Maybe sit back a bit further and push down with your hand to aim more downward—or use your thighs to hold it in place?
There are indeed a lot of jokers here. But This May 2022 was NO JOKE for me. I discovered through a chest MRI that I had a 7CM Renal mass on my Right Kidney. Turned out to be Renal Clear Cell Carcinoma with Eight Satellite Tumors around it. No JOKE here indeed. After a Total Radical Nephrectomy. I am now a Solitary kidney individual. Not without much crying at age 65. Stage Three RCC is no Joke. Not even for the Devil! My May 2022 has turned into my own “Twilight Zone”. One I never want to experience again, to soon. I need to Pee sitting down. The Mist and unpredictability of flow after surgery , depends on it! Thanks for reading! To all you youngsters with BS comments……. I hope your luck holds out! Your NOT young forever! My experience has brought me that much closer to my maker! God Bless America!
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Thanks Ben. All the best with your recovery and staying healthy. Hopefully you’ll be peeing healthily, sitting or standing or upside down, for many years to come.
[…] For the past couple of years, my “professional” focus has been The Unconventional Route, my blog about staying curious, questioning the status quo, and living on your own terms. There, I explore a broad range of topics from fasting to shifting identities to fitness to peeing sitting down. […]
The ignorance here is a bit insane. And way too many “alpha” rubbish, try be civilized and keep it in your pants.
1: Toilets in the US have much higher water levels than in other parts. So yes dipping is a problem.
2: Even low level water level toilets are often too shallow in the bowl area. Look up “the witches kiss” if you don’t think that’s a thing.
If you can sit it is certainly more “hygienic” and I would suggest doing so when visiting friends and stuff! But sorry to bust it to you. But it’s just not that simple all of the time. Sitting can be more inconvenient and tricky that some of you realize.
Chris your a bitch…..if you do this in jail or prison your called a bitch and soon your some convicts wife. Trust me ….your wife ,girlfriend or woman has turned you out. Does she really like her man being such a bitch?
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Maybe I’ll be such a bitch they’ll put me in women’s prison. Then, to show the ladies how tough I am, I’ll pee standing up all over their toilet seats.
Well, all these comments from the ‘pro-stand-and-pee’ guys explains why my 84 year old dad with Alzheimer’s is now OBSESSED with peeing anywhere and everywhere BUT the toilet!!! The garage floor, recycle bins, cat’s litter pan, neighbors’ campers, tires, fences, and houses, ACE Hardware storage room, Lowe’s lumber section, ANY garden center, and every restaurant known to him in his whereabouts. But not the bathroom in his own house. NOPE! Not gonna do it! That’s just NO FUN!!! Can’t turn my head for ONE MILLISECOND before the man is unzipping his pants…
PEASE…for the sake of your loved ones, reframe your thinking before you lose your damned mind! Because someone is going to have to put up with your CONSTANT pissing EVERYWHERE one day. Well, actually, the entire community will put up with it until it becomes the reason you end up in a nursing home.
Too many respondents to go read them all. As far as men standing up to piss it’s as old as nature, itself. Not sure if it’s been addressed — but “someone” needs to consult their urologist. Can you imagine, as an aside, military men in a firefight sitting down to piss? As if. Meanwhile, the male anatomy is such that when you stand up to piss you’re more likely to void more completely than if you sit. Why? Because when you stand your internal organs are not pressing against your pubic area — as opposed to when you sit down, your internal organs are pressing against your equipment, causing urological complications and possibly worse. Book an appointment and see your urologist asap.
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