Don’t Feel Like Working Out? Try “Grown-Up” Motivation

What do you do when you don’t feel like working out?

I don’t feel like working out today.

Sometimes I feel motivated. But not this time.

I have no shortage of good excuses to skip my workout: The weather outside is frightful and inside it’s so delightful. I’ve got some work to finish up. I think I feel a cold coming on. It’s getting late. Also, didn’t Kim want me to help with dinner?

Maybe I can take the day off. Just this once…

But I know I ought to get some exercise.

So what do I do?

I have two options to motivate myself to work out:

1. The Childish Technique
2. The Grown-Up Technique

Let’s look at both—and why one is so much better than the other.

Option #1 When You Don’t Feel Like Working Out:
The Childish Technique

This is the option most people tend to turn to when they don’t feel like working out.

You motivate yourself to exercise the same way parents get their kids to clean their rooms, practice piano, or otherwise do what’s best for them: with bribes/rewards, threats of punishment, or guilt trips.

So, to get my butt moving today, I can try:

• Bribes: “If I work out, I’ll treat myself to a beer with dinner.”
• Threats: “No TV this evening unless I work out.”
• Mind games: “I’ll overpay $199 for a 6-week program. That’ll hold me accountable.”
• Guilt trips: “What’s wrong with you? Quit being a lazy sack of lard.”

The childish self-motivation technique sometimes works.

Just as some kids’ early moaning and groaning about having to take piano lessons can metamorphose into a passion, some reluctant exercisers transform into fitness junkies.

But not often.

Usually, it backfires. And that’s because it conditions us to perceive working out as something we have to do, not something we want to do.

So as soon as we cut the cajoling, our desired exercise “habit” escapes. And it gets harder and harder to recapture every time.

That’s why I’m not going to bother with this childish technique to motivate myself to work out today when I don’t feel like it.

I’m going with Option #2, the grown-up technique.

Option #2 When You Don’t Feel Like Working Out:
The Grown-Up Technique

Two quotes sum up my go-to grown-up method for motivating myself to work out when I don’t feel like it:

Stop viewing decisions as choosing what to do, and start viewing them as choosing who to be.

Random Reddit user

And,

Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.

James Clear, Atomic Habits

Putting these quotes together, self-motivation to work out comes down to one simple question:

Who do you choose to be?

Do you choose to be unhealthy or healthy?

Less than 5% of American adults do 30 minutes of physical activity each day, and only 23% meet the CDC’s minimum guidelines.

I’m part of that healthy minority. And I want to stay there.

Do you choose to be a failure or successful?

“The successful person has the habit of doing the things failures don’t like to do. They don’t like doing them either necessarily. But their disliking is subordinated to the strength of their purpose.”

Steven Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People

I’ve thought a lot about what “success” means to me. For me, it’s winning at life and fulfilling my personal mission statement.

I can’t succeed in doing so without physical fitness and the mental well-being that comes with it.

Do you choose to be a push-over or relentless?

If I give in and don’t work out today, I’ll lose a bit of the momentum I’ve built up by pushing myself to work out even when I didn’t feel like it in the past. And if I keep giving in, I’ll eventually become a push-over.

But if I do the opposite and go work out, I’ll build momentum. And the more momentum I build, the more relentless I become.

Do you choose to be selfish or unselfish?

My 100-year-old future self is counting on me to stay fit and fight aging so that he can hold his great-grandchildren, walk up and down stairs without support, and achieve his long-term fitness goal of being an “Old-lympian.”

Choosing not to work out today wouldn’t help. It would hurt him, but benefit my unmotivated current self.

That’s selfish.

I’d rather be unselfish.

Do you choose to be ungrateful or grateful?

I get to work out.

The opportunity to exercise for its own sake is a privilege that many people in the world will never have. Those less-fortunate people would shake their heads at my sorry excuses for not wanting to work out and my lack of gratitude for the charmed life I’ve been given.

Do you choose to be inaction-oriented or action-oriented?

An inaction-oriented person has to choose to work out.

Their default is to stay cozy and comfortable and delay working out to another day.

An action-oriented person has to choose not to work out.

Their default is to get off their butt and do what’s good for them. They want to avoid the negative consequences of inaction like less energy, loss of momentum, and poorer mood. So they only choose not to work out when they have no other option.

Do you choose to be a child or a grown-up?

I may feel like a lazy, unmotivated, excuse-generating, sack of crap sometimes. But I know what’s best for me. I don’t need childish techniques to get me moving.

Who do you choose to be?

Don’t confuse these statements with hokey positive affirmations. I genuinely believe I can be successful, relentless, unselfish, grateful, action-oriented, healthy, and grown-up.

And because I believe this, I act accordingly. Every time I do so, I solidify my chosen identity—and my body.

Who do you choose to be?

I’m not going to treat you like a child and try to coerce you to motivate yourself to work out one way or another. Do whatever you want. And then be whoever you want.

I’ll leave you to it.

I’ve got to go work out now, anyway.

Maybe choose better workouts, too.

Another reason you don’t feel like working out?

Your workouts probably suck.

Most people’s do.

They huff and puff, going nowhere on treadmills, do push-ups with form that causes more harm than good, and waste their time with willy-nilly frilly exercises. Such workouts are monotonous and won’t deliver results. No wonder people don’t feel like working out so often.

Two recommendations on this:

1. Don’t just do whatever. Ensure you’re doing the right movements the right way and programming your workouts to deliver results faster. Hire a coach, ask an experienced friend, film yourself, and/or self-educate.
2. Do what’s fun. Find workout-life balance by embracing a fitness lifestyle rather than forcing yourself to work out like it’s a job that you pay to do. Ditch the gym and go outside. Throw rocks around. Play sports. And see our Health and Fitness archive for inspiration.