What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

Right here, right now, in the presence of you mostly wonderful 5,783 Consider This subscribers, I’m going to make a vow:

I will never ask my son Zac, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Asking him that feeds crumbs to the cockroachian idea that he’ll ever become something. Grow up then stop growing? Like a chia pet or something?

Say Zac’s “dream” comes true and he becomes what he wants to be when he grows up. Yay for him! He’ll do that for a few decades. Then he’ll retire and… cease being what he wanted to be.

Then what? Should I also ask Zac what he wants to be after he’s done being what he wants to be when he grows up?

Wanting to be something when he grows up also implies Zac won’t want to be everything else before that quite as much. So he’ll be in a rush to become whatever he wants to be. This brings to mind an excerpt from Jeff Olson’s book, The Slight Edge:

“The optimal rate [of growth] is far less than the fastest possible growth. When growth becomes excessive—as it does in cancer—the system itself will seek to compensate by slowing down; perhaps putting the organization’s survival at risk in the process.”

I don’t want Zac to risk his quality of life by racing after any dream career.

So what will I ask Zac instead?

The same thing I’m asking myself—and that I think you might want to ask yourself, too, no matter how “grown up” you believe yourself to be.

Consider this…

A Future Worth Smiling Over

While I don’t want Zac to want to be something when he grows up, I also don’t want him to have zero aspirations. He needs to push for something. If not, the forces of complacency will suck him deep down into an empty, unfulfilling rut.

I want him to keep pushing, exploring, and growing. And I want him to do so in all areas of his life: socially, spiritually, intellectually, professionally, fulfillment-ly, health-ily, adventurous-ly. And I want him to enjoy it!

My quote for the year is this from Arnold Schwarzenegger biography, Total Recall:

“Arnold never, ever had an angry look while he was training. He was lifting huge amounts of weight. He’s always smiling. I mean, think about that. What must be inside his head? What must he know about his future, that he is always smiling?”

My interpretation of this quote is that Arnold is having a great time in the present and improving his future. He has hit the dopamine and “here and now” neurotransmitter” sweet spot that Mike Long and Dan Liebermann write about in The Molecule of More.

Imagine hitting this sweet spot in all areas of life. Every day will be better than the previous! Ok, not every day. Some days your toilet backs up. But, big picture, life keeps going up. That’s what I want for Zac when he grows up.

So I guess my question for Zac—and for myself, and for you—is this:

What does a life that keeps getting better look like to you?